The Garage Sale Review: Kittens and fancy kicks

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Yard sale cuisine includes just about any edible substance that you can imagine talking a complete stranger into eating. These hot dogs, charred and delicious, are just one example.
Yard sale cuisine includes just about any edible substance that you can imagine talking a complete stranger into eating. These hot dogs, charred and delicious, are just one example.

Editor's note: All photos taken by Gillian Rhodes, Daily Texan Staff.

Hi, amigos!

Welcome to another edition of The Garage Sale Review, the weekly Internet column that allows you to get up close and personal with the best of Austin’s garage sale culture without getting your hands dirty.

Imagine, if you will, that this blog post is a shark cage. You’re lowered, alone and nervous, into the murky, unfamiliar depths of second-hand stuff. You’re cold, breathing through a tube and you have one of those nasty, chafing wet-suit wedgies (in the metaphor, of course, unless you dress up like a diver while you garage sale). Suddenly, in the distance, an object appears. “Wait, what’s that?” you think urgently. “It’s swimming closer. And it looks dangerous.” Indeed, the object is getting closer, but you still can’t make it out. It doesn’t look like anything you’ve ever seen before. You wait patiently as your heart beats faster and faster and the object looms closer and closer. Finally, the unidentified thingamajig is revealed:

Don’t worry, young one, it’s not a shark. It’s just a harmless yard sale hot dog! Mmmm mmm good, just like Campbell’s Soup, but with more blended chicken and cow intestines. Just kidding, duh, they’re made out of “meat by-products.” As promised in last week’s Garage Sale Review, Gillian and I managed to wrangle up some fresh yard sale cuisine whilst procuring odd stuff in folks’ yards, and we came out the other side of the meal feeling healthy, invigorated and ready to rumble. Here is what we rumbled up, y’all:
 


View The Garage Sale Review: 7/2/11 in a larger map

3506 Hollywood Avenue

The first garage sale that we checked out (the one with the hot dogs), was looking a little picked over when we arrived. Paloma, the garage seller, offered us hot dogs and beer and explained the origins of some of her garage sale goods to us. There were a lot of old electronics and a couple of stickers from Hawaii, where Paloma had lived for a little bit. Although the items weren’t amazing, that Hawaiian work schedule sticker sure was hilarious! And by hilarious I mean ‘sort of amusing.’

Then Paloma introduced us to her newborn kitties. They weren’t for sale, but they were way cute, as kitties tend to be. Or, perhaps ‘terrified’ would be a more appropriate adjective.

Another garage sale shopper and I played with the cats for awhile and then I eventually took my leave with a longing glance at the rest of that sizzling yard sale meat, hanging out on the grill like cylindrical, pink manna from heaven.

607 Sheraton Avenue

At this stop, Gillian and I encountered a yard sale, void of all authority except for the unbendable rule that is the garage sale honor code (exemplified by the sign in the picture above). We, being like medieval knights in the way that we follow codes and crusade around for treasure and burp a lot, gave the garage sellers a ring on the telephone. We were greeted by Brandy, who showed us the items that her and her roommates had for sale. Brandy explained that she designs wardrobes for everything from photo shoots to advertisements as she pointed out some gaudy jewelry and fancy shoes to us.

You fancy, huh? Anyway, we were about to leave when Brandy told us that she had taken her garage sale advertising to the Internet, which is something I’ve never encountered before. Talking up your garage sale online? This really is 2011. She gave me the link to her YouTube garage sale ad and we went on our way. Here’s the video, where Brandy talks about the items her garage sale had for sale before we got there:

OK, you people! We’ll see you next week. And as you’re celebrating Independence Day please remember that even though America means a lot of things, it’s mostly all about garage sales. Well, maybe not, but I bet Thomas Jefferson was a mean haggler in his day.